With back to school can also come anxiety. A childs self esteem can be wounded at any stage in their life. As a parent we want to help but don’t always know the right way to go about it. I’ve put together a few pieces of information to help you out along the way.
1. Present yourself in a confident manner. How you feel about yourself can translate to how a child feels about themselves.
2. Do not over flatter a child. You are trying to be encouraging but it can backfire. Children can see through excessive compliments and may end up dismissing what you say altogether.
3. Let your child know that you support and accept them in all areas even if their classmates do not.
4. Include children in activities that you are doing if they show an interest.
5. Encourage their own interests by helping them to explore them. Show them how to find out more or introduce them to a class that can teach them more. Don’t just praise them. Being supportive shows that you respect their individual interests.
6. Avoid sentences that begin with “You are” You are being shy, you are just being lazy etc. That relates to who they are as a person rather than an action they are taking that you don’t approve of.
7. Don’t compare them! This is really important. Everyone is different and it’s too hard to live up to what a brother, sister or friend can do.
8. Teach your children to think for themselves by making suggestions rather than telling them. It also saves a lot of unnecessary battles. For example, as “which of these two outfits would you like to wear today” or “I’ll put a sweater into your backpack so you know where it is if you get cold”.
9. Smile, hug and tell your children that you love them at odd times during the day. Don’t do this just at bedtime or when they’ve done something wonderful.
10. Remember this quote “We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light.” ~Mary Dunbar
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Thanks so much for all the great tips. My youngest son is so *very* sensitive and I worry about him all the time as he is definitely NOT a fighter and has been bullied in the past. The bullying has really affected his self-esteem despite the fact that I am always trying to make him feel better about himself. I have actually lost sleep many a night wondering how he will ever cope with life’s problems because he is so sensitive. You would think that with him being my 3rd child I would have figured it all out…I haven’t. I will pass on your list of tips as they are all great ideas. Thanks for sharing!
I think with twins its especially important NOT to Compare. I have asked every twin I know, and they all said its what they hated the most. Not wanting to be the “skinny” or “athletic” or “smart” one.
Brooke recently posted..Makeup Case / Purse Review
Great tips I like include children in activities, I found it helps a lot.
Fan R. recently posted..Disney Cuddly Bodysuit
Great post with some really good tips, thanks!
Monica recently posted..Kellogg Canada debuts new products!!
These are such great tips, especially with school being just around the corner! Thanks so much for sharing
Brandi recently posted..Snack Attack
awesome post and I always try to include my children in activites… works a lot better for us.
Annie @ It’s just my life… recently posted..Reflecting on Why I Homeschool
What a fabulous post! I have a question though….
For this point ” Avoid sentences that begin with “You are” You are being shy, you are just being lazy etc. That relates to who they are as a person rather than an action they are taking that you don’t approve of.”
I totally hear what you are saying – could you give some suggestions for how to word that type of thing better/differently??
Multi-Testing Mommy recently posted..Add and Enter Low Entry Giveaway Listings for #Canadians
Great question! If you can replace “you are..” with “I Feel” or “I believe” that would be more appropriate. If not, try asking them a question and start a conversation. If you think your child is shy ask them if they “feel” nervous/worried/scared etc. Talk to them about the feeling and how you can work on it together. If you think your child is being lazy again start a conversation with a question. “Why have you not completed the chore I asked you to do” Maybe they don’t know how, maybe it seems overwhelming. Sometimes laziness can be an inablity to understand especially in school work. Dyslexia is common enough to be overlooked. If you know you child is merely being lazy you can say “I feel very disappointed that you have ignored my request” then take the conversation from there. It’s not always easy, especially if you are upset by their action. Remember that it is ok for you to ask for five minutes to think before you discuss something with your child. HTH – Tina
This is a great list. Keep up the positive. Explore life with our kids by our sides!
cheers!